Turning Pain Into Power

   Life is such a delicate thing, so fragile yet so complex and intimidating. Like a flame it burns brightly for a time, but is easily snuffed out in the blink of an eye. For many, we hope to keep our flame going until God’s appointed time to bring us home, after living our lives for His glory. Yet for many others, life is filled with unspeakable pain, to the point where they would rather see it end before they endured another day. 
   We all at some point in our lives will experience pain in one way or another. It is through pain in which we are brought into this world, it’s how we grow physically into maturity, and the pain can bring valuable life lessons that we pass on to the next generation. The question that must be asked is, how do I deal with pain and not give it domain over my life? My natural reaction is to bottle it up, bury it deep down and forget. Try as I might however, I never forget those moments. They eat away at me, and so I eat to escape the pain. It’s a cycle I’ve been trying to break for quite a long time now. 
   I’ve learned that in order to move forward with my life and become who I’m truly meant to be, I must first free myself of the anger, depression, self-hatred, and past pain that hold me back. I know God listens to my prayers, tho oftentimes I’ve doubted His willingness to answer them. It sowed seeds of anger and resentment towards God; I felt ignored or let down somehow. 
   When I really think about it, my whole perspective on my life experiences and how God works has been clouded by my own negativity. I remember times when I would cry out to Him in my lowest moments, amidst the darkness, and felt frustrated when He didn’t answer right away, when really I was failing to trust in His plan. It’s in those dark times when God really shines. When I feel most weakened by the attacks of the enemy, He is there to lift us up. He wants us to turn to Him in spite of how miserable it all seems; how foolish I’ve been assuming God had forgotten me.
   Even still, in His great love for me, God has shown that I am meant for so much more than I strive for. The gifts that I’ve been blessed with are slowly becoming more evident as time passes, and I want to see my potential fully realized. There is much for me to overcome to reach that point however, strongholds to be brought down and chains to be broken. I must seek God’s face more than ever before so I can see beyond the hopelessness and finally walk in the light of His perfect will, to reignite a flame long forgotten, and rediscover the peace that surpasses all understanding. 


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