Redeeming my story
It's currently 1:08 AM on January 1, 2020 as I write this, as we all turn to the first blank page of a 365 page book, each one to be written in permanent ink. Whether we realize it or not, we are each an author, and our daily choices will dictate the kind of story we publish. So as tradition goes, each year we build our story board, and lay out our goals in hopes of becoming the best version of ourselves we can be, to pursue a higher purpose and make an impact in the world around us.
As for me, my goal is to completely change the narrative of my life, one paragraph at a time.
All metaphors aside, I've been declining at a pretty steady pace this past year, both in my physical health and in my attitude towards life. Depression casts its long shadow, and envelops the light around me. Overeating promises to help me forget my troubles, only to add to my pain. As I stare the new year in the face, a growing sense of urgency is felt. The year 2020 is a make-or-break year for me, I can feel it as well as my family. Simply making resolutions is not going to cut it, rather resolving to live my best life in Christ Jesus instead of losing what's left of my freedom must be at the top of my list. To make this happen, there are a few things that must change: my weight, my financial stability, and most of all my commitment to trust in God's divine will and regain my spiritual fire.
To conquer my weight problems, I plan on beginning an intermittent fast, which is nothing to eat from 6pm-11am. The key is not to over-complicate it, as I know my biggest problem is overeating unhealthy foods, so to start by cutting myself off completely after a certain time will definitely aid in that regard.
As far as my finances go, my plan is to squash as much of my debt as possible, and to restart tithes to the church so that God can bless my finances.
Finally, and most importantly, I need to get closer to God than ever before, and get my fire back. For so long I have been distanced from Him due to resentment and anger, both at God and at myself for allowing myself to slip this far. I still fight those emotions often, and my significant weight problem puts me in a constant state of depression, which only pushes me further. I miss the closeness, feeling His presence engulf me as I surrender my very being over to His light. I know God never leaves nor forsakes us, which means I walked away when I gave in to depression and hate toward myself. I read the Bible and pray, but I long to reconnect to God on an intimate level, to learn to fully trust in God, and to place Him before any other earthly desire I have.
This year will mark the end of the issues I've faced for as long as I can remember, and the beginning of my journey to become all that God has called me to be. My redemption story begins now.
As for me, my goal is to completely change the narrative of my life, one paragraph at a time.
All metaphors aside, I've been declining at a pretty steady pace this past year, both in my physical health and in my attitude towards life. Depression casts its long shadow, and envelops the light around me. Overeating promises to help me forget my troubles, only to add to my pain. As I stare the new year in the face, a growing sense of urgency is felt. The year 2020 is a make-or-break year for me, I can feel it as well as my family. Simply making resolutions is not going to cut it, rather resolving to live my best life in Christ Jesus instead of losing what's left of my freedom must be at the top of my list. To make this happen, there are a few things that must change: my weight, my financial stability, and most of all my commitment to trust in God's divine will and regain my spiritual fire.
To conquer my weight problems, I plan on beginning an intermittent fast, which is nothing to eat from 6pm-11am. The key is not to over-complicate it, as I know my biggest problem is overeating unhealthy foods, so to start by cutting myself off completely after a certain time will definitely aid in that regard.
As far as my finances go, my plan is to squash as much of my debt as possible, and to restart tithes to the church so that God can bless my finances.
Finally, and most importantly, I need to get closer to God than ever before, and get my fire back. For so long I have been distanced from Him due to resentment and anger, both at God and at myself for allowing myself to slip this far. I still fight those emotions often, and my significant weight problem puts me in a constant state of depression, which only pushes me further. I miss the closeness, feeling His presence engulf me as I surrender my very being over to His light. I know God never leaves nor forsakes us, which means I walked away when I gave in to depression and hate toward myself. I read the Bible and pray, but I long to reconnect to God on an intimate level, to learn to fully trust in God, and to place Him before any other earthly desire I have.
This year will mark the end of the issues I've faced for as long as I can remember, and the beginning of my journey to become all that God has called me to be. My redemption story begins now.
I believe in you james. You can do this. Depression is a hard thing to overcome, I know, but you will make 2020 a great year I know it!
ReplyDeleteWell said my fellow Caserta. Good for you and my prayers are with you. You are not alone in your struggles. I can definitely relate to all of
ReplyDeleteYour issues. Stay strong and trust in Him! God Speed.
1 day at a time, allow God to move daily... we Cochrans are praying for you. :)
ReplyDeleteHey James, great to see that you are putting in the work to tell your story. Nothing but support here. I have a feeling that there are many more people behind you than you realize. I’ve always had great respect for your loving and friendly attitude. Everyone has struggles. Good to see you are putting your trust in God. He takes our issues and uses them as a way to take control and add to His glory. He completes the work He began in us. I believe He will do that for you. I pray that His will be done in your life above your own, and that He gives you the desires of your heart, In Jesus’ name. Hallelujah! Amen. Love you, Bro!
ReplyDelete