“So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.” ~ Psalm 143:4 NIV

  For this entry I felt the need to pour out what's been going on with me lately so it may be darker at first, but then again, this is a dark time in my life right now, as I'm still trying to step into the light. 
   I've had this recurring image cross my mind of a person, whose hands and feet are chained to the ground unable to move. Anguish on his face, pulling against the chains with all his might, but to no avail. He longs for freedom, he's fought so many times before, but eventually he gives in to the great weight of the iron shackles. 
   Then, a word comes to mind: trapped. I feel trapped inside my body, and just thinking about that word creates this sinking feeling, and this metaphorical weight descends on me, like every action I take is impossible, and all motivation is lost. It's a hopeless feeling, to feel like no one could possibly understand, and nothing I've done has worked so far, so why continue to struggle?
   The real question is, why was I fighting a battle without using the weapons God had already equipped me with?
   In His great grace and love, God has shown a bright light on the one thing the chained man was not using...his voice. I have seen evidence in the past couple of days that my voice is a gift that the Lord has given me to raise up a praise the likes of which no demon can stop and no chain can withstand, that I am called to be a warrior of praise in His army.
   So, seeing this and hearing all of the wonderful and kind words of others who have heard me sing, I'm left now with one mission: to overcome the things of this world that keep me down, and jump head first into my Kingdom calling. Knowing there are so many behind me in prayer and believe in me and the gifts that God has given me truly means the world to me, and makes me excited for what God has planned for me in the days to come.

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