Day One

For the waywardness of the simple will kill them,    and the complacency of fools will destroy them ~Proverbs 1:32

   If you are taking time to read this, first of all you have my gratitude. My vision for this series of entries is to reach as many people as possible, and even if it helps just one person, I will have considered it a success. I've always been drawn to writing, and I knew it wasn't just a coincidence; I believe writing is something God has always had planned for me, to share my story, to be a light in a world full of darkness. This is a new adventure for me, so by doing this blog I am definitely stepping out of my comfort zone, but the way I see it, I have been comfortable for far too long.

   My life has been filled with blessings, I have a great family that loves and holds each other up, and my parents have always strived to be examples of good work ethic and Godliness. From the time I was born, I have been surrounded by love, and many memories over the years. If I could summarize my personal journey from childhood to adulthood in one word, I would say "complacent", meaning everything I did was routine, everything was taken care of for me, so there was never anything to worry about; I was in the perfect comfort zone. I went through life on autopilot (cliché I know but it's true 😉 ) while shirking my responsibilities at home and in my personal life; after all, I have parents who are always there and a God who will never leave nor forsake me, and my life has been great so far, so why worry right?

   Little did I know I was being suffocated spiritually by the darkness of complacency, blinded to my own faults by stubbornness, barred from God's promise of a prosperous future filled with His grace and favor because I chose to appease the temptations, promising to make everything better, convincing me to forget about it for one more day. I snuffed out my own light in exchange for a "comfortable life", and it wasn't until I met my life partner that I was made to see just how broken I was. Once the mirror was turned on myself, I didn't recognize the person staring back at me, and I hated him. I still do most days. Hate is kindling for evil to grow, so naturally my habits and my priorities became more and more corrupted. As the verse above stated, my foolish complacency was destroying me from the inside out.

   Today, as I sit here, I weigh 508 lbs., literally carrying the weight of all my life choices everywhere I go...and I'm done. I'm over this life, I'm fed up with feeding myself to the point of an early death, losing my wife because my weight has caused me to become near infertile, the hope of a family becoming more and more distant. The little things I used to take for granted, even putting my socks and shoes on or going up stairs, have become arduous tasks, sometimes requiring assistance. I think back to who I was versus who I am now, and my heart breaks.

   So I'm taking a step forward, into the light, little by little, this time by pursuing weight loss surgery. I had my consultation today with Dr. Blaine Nease, and I can say that I am very excited for what my future holds. I'm doing weekly meal prepping with my amazing wife, without whom I could not hope to make all these delicious meals I have to choose from 😋. I will be using this blog to document my journey through the next six months, leading up to the big day, and then the following weeks and months, watching my life change before my eyes. Each day brings more hope, more light, and I feel more determined than ever. However, I cannot do this alone, so I'm sharing my story with all of you to keep myself accountable, and to ask for prayers as I leave my comfortable life behind, one step at a time.